Well my life fell apart not that long ago now. And not many people know how miserable I really am. I write on here because I know that no one reads it but me. What's even more depressing is that it IS available for anyone to read. To care. If only they wanted to look.

It's November now. I got a B in Photography, a C in Psychology and a C in Philosophy, thereby getting myself safely into Brighton university. I had a really good summer overall, but in some ways it was the worst of my life. Well actually it was just one way.

I lost the most precious thing in my life. I think the better way to say it is that I threw him away. To replace him with a girl, who, no matter how amazing she is, can never mean to me what he does. Ever. I wish I was better at writing, I can't really get this all out right.

I loved him more than I will EVER love ANYTHING in this life. I don't deserve anything from anybody.

Somehow my heart keeps beating. Somehow. You never get taught to feel anything about the person who breaks hearts, you always have to feel sorry for the heart broken person.
But trust me, it's not that easy. I want to wake up from this.

One day I want to feel like I'm not living someone else's life.